About me

Nonofo Wilfred Mataboge is a husband, father of two, teacher, author, and social innovator. I believe in communicating truth in excellence. I am most passionate about issues of faith, family, relationships, leadership, and personal development. My main purpose for blogging is to equip my fellow brothers and sisters with wisdom for a rich (life of immeasurable quality) and overflowing life-that it is possible to find lasting peace, joy, and fulfilment in an unstable world of conflict and unexpected disappointments. Moreover, I want to share my observations on what it means to be a constructive member of society.

Intimacy

“The closer you are to each other, the stronger you are together”

Leaving and cleaving

You are not ready to build a lasting relationship with anyone until you relinquish your role as a child and are willing to permit your parents to limit their care for you. A fulfilling relationship requires determined and interdependent minds willing to build a life together based on long-term goals. It is impossible to cleave to your spouse or partner while you are still failing to loosen the bond between you and your family. A fulfilling relationship is a lifetime process which requires the resolution of two individuals who value each other enough and are willing to contribute consistently towards their spiritual, psychological, sociological, and physical development.

“True love is not a hide and seek game: in true love, both lovers seek each other”-Michael Bassey Johnson

When I first met my wife, I was 27 years of age and she was 22 years of age. We finally got married when I was 30 years of age and she was 25 years of age. I realized in our first year of courting that there were a number of connections and habits that I had to break in order to create space for the new relationship. Some changes were necessary for the foundation to be laid properly. That my friend was the beginning of intimacy with her. I had to learn to see her, hear her, and feel her independent of other voices and previous experiences. I had to accept that she was a unique person with unique needs and interests. Our love depended on it and I thank God for the lessons learned.

The main reason why we choose to love someone is that we have a strong desire to know them intimately and to be part of their life. It is because the peculiarity of their personality and presence makes them outstanding. This fascination with their person lures (attracts) us into their private fountain of love and a world of endless wonder. By indulging our thirsty souls in the freshwater two precious hearts intertwines as the old and dry skins are peeled off, making way for a new-intact skin. This formation is the heart of intimacy. Lauren Oliver said, “I wonder if this is how people always get close: they heal each other’s wounds; they repair the broken skin”. Love in its purest form is therapeutic. It changes hearts and builds lives. That is why King Solomon adamantly advised young lovers to “Drink water from your own cistern, water flowing from your own well.” There are joys to be explored in a relationship. As you give yourself wholly to your lover, the rest of your life will be filled with bliss.
Remember- as long as the past competes with the present, intimacy will be compromised. In order for the two individuals to draw nigh to each other, obstacles (be it a person/s, an idea, a belief, a habit, or an obsession) must be removed. Nothing should be allowed to come between two people who love each other-not even death. Like a gardener, a lover should proactively prune unwanted offshoots, remove weeds, apply fertilizer, and plan for irrigation so that plants can be healthy and productive. The same rule applies in a healthy relationship; you wisely address sensitive issues which have the potential to disrupt harmony and prosperity. This you achieve by esteeming your lover above others. Someone you deem important deserves special treatment because you do not want to spoil the vine.

Conclusion

Intimacy is not an overnight success-it is a long-term goal that requires focus, discipline, integrity, and authenticity. You have to be willing to let go of other things in order to attain a state of harmony and connectivity in your relationship with your lover. Once in a love relationship, you must understand such a relationship’s primacy. You cannot treat your love relationship like others and expect peace and fulfilment. By ignoring your spouse you are setting yourselves up for failure. It is easy for a couple to be turned against each other where intimacy is lacking. Remember-a house divided cannot stand. However, the ability to stand together must be preceded by the willingness to deal with deep and uncomfortable issues affecting the way the two of you relate. Once done, you can face life and the world confidently.
“Intimacy is a totally different dimension. It is allowing the other to come into you, to see you as you see yourself”

Osho

Questions for further discussion

In your opinion, what makes intimacy a challenge between lovers?

What are common misconceptions about intimacy?

Intimacy II

Unresolved issues are a serious threat to peace in a relationship. And when peace is eroded, passion evaporates instantly like mist on a sunny morning. You do not want to deal with a disgruntled, agitated, resentful, anxious, and unstable spouse-believe me. Solomon once said, “​​​​​​Better is a dry crust of bread where there is quietness than a house full of feasting with strife” (Proverbs 17:1). It does not matter what your fiscal and social statuses look like. If there is no peace in the house, they will not add value to the relationship. You will be both spiritually and psychologically drained. So, avoid shipwrecking your relationship by humbly and wisely addressing each other constructively and openly. Below are a few tips to consider:

1. Overcome the fear of being judged by embracing your spouse’ love
2. If you do not have evidence, make room for an explanation
3. At this point, it may be too early to assume that his or her love is failing the relationship
4. Treat your crisis as a normal part of life
5. Misunderstandings and conflicts are normal-so is anger
6. Because you love each other dearly, anything that seems to threaten the relationship will provoke swift and sometimes miscalculated reactions
7. Work your way through the conflict honestly
8. Forgive each other and be willing to learn from your mistakes

Success in any relationship is not a result of hocus-pocus or mumbo jumbo. It is an outcome of discipline, humility, kindness, compassion, wisdom, patience, and commitment. The art of resolve is intimacy’s solid guardrail. Your determination is the key to a sustainable and flourishing relationship.

Art of Supplication

by Nonofo W. Mataboge | Feb 10, 2023 |Posts | 0 Comments

 It describes a situation where the one who is inferior in stature appeals to the graciousness of his or her superior. It is characterized by three main elements: the petitioner, the address, and the addressee. The petitioner in our case will be a believer or group of believers who are seeking God’s intervention on specified matters. They express their dependence on Him in an outburst of hearts showing their utter trust in His authority and wisdom to administer justice and righteousness.

Given an unparalleled and unprecedented rise in wickedness and debauchery in the world, there is an urgent need for the disciples of Christ to engage Yahweh Elohim on matters pertaining to our peace and prosperity through the prayer of supplication. It is evident that our political systems, economic systems, education systems, and health systems are failing us. Leaders come and go but the troubles of life remain and increase. Seasons come and seasons pass but corruption continues to spread like cancer in human societies around the world. however, there is hope for those who put their trust in the Lord. Yahweh commanded exiled Israelites to, “Seek the welfare of the city I have deported you to. Pray to the LORD on its behalf, for when it has prosperity, you will prosper.” (Jeremiah 29:7). Since their exile was a fulfilment of His Word and justice; they could not pray against it. Instead, they were to pray for the prosperity of Babylon for its prosperity and peace were important to them as well. To pray against exile would have been a waste of time and energy.

Likewise, as ambassadors of Christ on Earth; we are commanded to pray for the success of our families and communities. We are to petition the God of gods and Lord of lords on their behalf. God has given us privileges for such a purpose. Unlike the heathens, we can come to the throne of grace and receive mercy in due time. God has pledged to hear and answer our prayers. So, do not underestimate your prayers: especially the prayer of supplication. When you pray, things on Earth work for your good. No matter where you are, when you humbly engage Almighty God powers and principalities have to reckon with His authority. Whether you are in your home town, in the city, or in a foreign land-God hear and answer.

In the Greek language, the word deesis means a request to God to meet an urgent need. There are many urgent needs in the world which cannot be met by any person but God. To look to people for assistance would be a form of disappointment. No matter how financially able one is, like the rest of us, they also have limitations. During covid-19, we witnessed the death of many people both rich and poor. Clearly, regardless of their varying economic statuses-they were all faced with an undefeatable enemy. The rich died along with the poor and were all buried alike. Without question, there are situations which only God almighty can handle. As we grapple with many issues in this life, we need to supplicate Him on all matters and trust that He will show us His might.

Art of Supplication

by Nonofo W. Mataboge | Feb 10, 2023 |Posts | 0 Comments